new normal
so this is it? this is how its gonna be until some miracle happens and saves me from this endless cycle?
okay, thats enough melodrama for now. but im getting really frustrated with the way things have been progressing. i continue to have virtually no time to myself and for my projects. im pretty much at the same exact place i was last week. ive also been coming home so exhausted lately that i barely have any energy to sit and do any creative stuff. its not even that i don't want to or because of procrastination, I'm just not physically able to juggle all the things that I set up for myself, between work, creative projects, personal care, and time to intentionally consume media/art.
my feet are just always killing me, im constantly fighting to stay awake throughout the day, and things just don't seem to be going in a positive direction overall...
its been nearly 3 months for me at this new job. its going well, im getting settled in alright, the routine is the same. theres still a lot that im not caught up with for myself. i don't have any real sense of direction right now. im kind of still stuck in that "figuring it out as i go" mentality, even though i know exactly what to expect every day and every week.
today, i am glad that i at least had some decent time to work on my Stupid BS artwork. thats not nothing.
Summer is more than halfway done and its not going how i hoped it would at all. i mean, im still getting to play some PSP and continuing to draw here and there, but i was really looking to do something really special. it just feels like things are gonna be this way if im not proactive enough to change them.
let me kinda braindump/freewrite here:
im trying to create some kind of big grand project that will propel my career and skills to a new level. money isn't an issue, equipment isn't an issue, time and energy are the biggest problems. Stupid Bullshit is close to done, im just wrapping up the artwork. it seems like i can't think or imagine anything beyond Stupid BS. Meaning, i just believe that on the other side of releasing this project and getting it out of my system, there is a magical new shiny project for me to pursue. my mind isn't letting me engage or plan for this next project because im not fully done with whatever work i have on my plate. i occasionally day dream of what this next new project is gonna be like, imagining a music-comic-game hybrid, with vibrant colors, a distinctly uplifting sound, and immersion on another level. once stupid bs is officially out, i can get a fresh start. but i need to finish stupid bs first.
how can i carve out time in my day, even if just 30-45 min, to make progress on my creative work? when are the best times for me to sit and work? how can i maintain momentum, even during busy or overwhelming times?
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