accepting my ineffectiveness
Tags: life depression vewn blog
well, another week has just flew by. I am starting to accept how I have absolutely no effect on this world and I'm just permanently stuck in this spectator mode of living.
well, for context, im still not having any luck with the job search. i feel so tired of applying all the time, its been weighing me down. im making some slow progress in my music, i finally got through mastering all 4 songs that I have completed in the past few months so, hooray for that.
yesterday, i made the last minute decision to go to the Vewn animator conversation event, but unfortunately tickets were sold out. there was a very slight chance that I could have gotten some no show tickets at the door, but i didn't. it was whatever at that point, but i did actually meet her in person, very briefly and awkwardly. she was so sweet and tried to get me and a few folks who didn't have tickets into the show, but the ushers just wouldn't budge. i did manage to at least greet her and tell her that i really love her work, which felt nice. she was so giggly and was blushing, and i felt so nervous. i personally felt like i didn't deserve to see her, and i've just been taking it out on myself. i had so much to say but i felt so overwhelmed in the moment and didn't want to make her late for the event. i just wish i got a pic or an autograph. i'm just replaying the 15 seconds I actually saw her in person over and over again, like it was a surreal dream. i just hope that maybe one day I could meet her again. She truly is a generational talent. her works remind me of Nekojiru mixed with the grungy aesthetics of MTV Downtown.
ummm... i guess i've made some small progress with that AI business analytics competitor bot thingy. not very much but enough to know the direction im going. I also just started taking free networking classes online from Cisco on netacad.com. It's alright, I guess.
Anyways, here's some videos I thought were cool this week: