Stupid Bullshit
Tags: life stupid bs music depression blog
I thought things were gonna be getting better. I really did. I was just waiting for a good day. Honestly, I've been feeling worse and worse every week. Not having any income is killing me. Man. It really sucks.
Well, this week I at least got some progress done on my music. I've recorded and finalized a new song called "Doesn't Get Better" about how life never gets better. Real creative, I know. I also finally got around to mixing and mastering the previous songs I've recorded so thats nice. I'm thinking of changing this first mixtape's titles from "Close to Nothing" to "Stupid Bullshit", because that feels more accurate to my life right now.
I've honestly thought about running away, living off the land. I don't know. Its not a constructive way of thinking, but thats just how I feel.
I started brainstorming and thinking of an idea for an AI business. I'm gonna make some kind of dumb software agent thingy that summarizes competitor data for business owners. Might as well give it a shot. People are making millions for stupid ideas like that.
An animator I really enjoy, Vewn, is coming to Chicago to do a dialogue and screening of her work. It's $15 for tickets, but I can't afford it. I really wanted to go. It's happening next week, but I'm just gonna have to sit this one out.
My attitude towards life has been pretty aggravated lately. I'm not necessarily enjoying anything at all. I don't feel inspired or really any kind of redeeming emotion. Yet I still just do the same things everyday, like some kind of sad punishment. I draw, read, apply for jobs, work on music, hit the gym, try to get to working on this website, etc. but I really don't believe in any of it. I don't know whats the difference between myself and a corpse at this point. I kind of just am existing, very plainly. It could be worse I guess. But this has to be some kind of torment.
In other news, we got a new Yeat song. It features EsDeeKid, which is awesome. Also, there was a new Bridge Kids episode. It was hilarious. It's the little things, I guess.