My Head Hurts. I Got a Headache

Feb 10, 2026

I got back from my behavioral health follow up visit at the doctors today. Since I had that whole suicidal episode a few weeks back, I've been checking in with my psych doctors and therapists every week or so. I have to say, I've been doing better since 3 weeks ago, but overall just feeling a sense of meaninglessness and boredom.

I've recently taken up short story writing and been reading some fiction stories. I just got some books from the library and hope to work through them over the next couple of weeks. One I'm looking forward to reading is The Awkward Black Man by Walter Mosley. It looks like it has some relatable stories. I'm currently drafting a story about a girl who is climbing a mountain but is struggling to make it to the top. I'll share it here sometime.

Right now, the only things keeping me going are my creative works. I finished writing a song yesterday, but still have yet to record it. I might re-record the other songs I have done, just to kind of update them. I didn't really like the delivery I gave pervious times. I also just did some watercoloring art in my sketchbook of some characters I made up. It looks cool and making it was fun. I want to get back into game development sometime soon. I have a lot of ideas for small games that I would like to publish here.

The world is still really messed up (no surprise) and I'm just doing my best to stay informed without over-consuming media. All the Epstein stuff has been making me sick. I came across some of the horrific torture videos online and it really made my head hurt. I don't know how I can do anything that would matter when there are monsters like that just walking freely on this earth. I'm grateful people are becoming more aware and more evidence is turning up, but it still feels so bad knowing these are the people running the world. I just know that if enough people could come together, we could do something about it. But what, I don't know.

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