idk where im going or what im doing.
Tags: progress anxiety stress creative drawing accountability blog
For most of this past week, I've been struggling with some anxiety. Anxiety over my own progress and my potential. It wasn't until recently that I realized my main weakness is the lack of direction in all of my pursuits. In the previous weeks, I was going through a more experimental phase, just doing random creative works, but nothing really intentional. And that was good for me to get back into the flow without putting a lot of pressure. But in this past week, I've really wanted to create something more meaningful and inspired.
It started early in the week, I had just been continuing to mess around and make random pixel art images and write short stories here and there.
Nothing really felt intentional or like it was a part of something bigger, just kind of day to day. Then I grew really frustrated with myself and tried to force a big great idea. That didn't go well. So I turned to YouTube and watched some videos by chon digital which made me realize that the biggest thing I need to do right now is to limit my scope and set some targets to hold myself accountable.
With everything I have planned, I don't have very much of a system to measure my progress. For music, I'm making beats and writing but I've been lagging behind. I've tried getting at least a song a week done, but haven't been too successful in maintaining. I just finished my 4th song's beat, but have yet to write lyrics and record. For drawing, I really need to slow down and realize that I'm not that good at it yet. I need to focus on mastering the fundamentals, like drawing boxes, and studying other artists for right now. I was so eager too jump into drawing full character designs and finding my "style" without paying attention to the basics. My expectations were too high. Same thing for this website. I've been slowly coming around to drafting up ideas and layout designs this week, which is more than I've done in the past weeks.